Why I Started Mental Myst

I struggled with porn for about 15 years. When you keep going back to something you’ve already decided you want out of your life, it gets hard to know what to make of yourself. You can mean every word of a promise to stop and still find yourself there again. I know how miserable that can be. It’s one reason I care so much about helping men understand what’s happening, instead of leaving them alone with another broken promise.

One thing worth slowing down for is the gap between what you want for your life and what you want in a particular moment. You might want a close marriage, an honest life, and to be done with porn. Then a difficult evening comes along, and what you want right now is a few minutes where nobody needs anything from you. Those wants can exist in the same person. Understanding the second one gives you something more useful to work with than wondering whether you meant the first.

Picture a guy who spends all day taking care of other people. Maybe you know the feeling. He gets to bedtime feeling as though none of the day belonged to him. If porn has become his private escape, simply taking it away may leave him with the same frustration. He has something else to look at too: how he gets rest, asks for space, and makes room for himself before he’s completely worn out.

I worked through my struggle before I got married. Getting married afterward made me appreciate how much it matters to be present and honest with the person you’re building a life with. That’s a big part of why I work with married men who want to quit. There’s a whole life around this habit, and that life deserves attention too.

I spent years and a lot of money finding help. I started Mental Myst because I wanted the useful parts of what I learned to be easier for other men to find. I want a man to come away understanding himself a little better, with something specific he can work on. Sometimes the first useful step is being able to say, plainly, what makes a certain part of his day so hard.

John Wiggains
Founder of Mental Myst